Routes / a field guide
A route through the modules, in an order that makes sense. Named routes through the modules, in an order that somebody has already thought about, each with something written down at the end.
Each one below says what it is for, what exists at the end, and which plan includes the modules in it. The steps are listed in full.
15 named routes
Two people. Something written down. A place to begin, not a test to pass. The order is a suggestion; each module remains available on its own.
Two ways in
Find the conversation you are having Showing 15 of 15 routes
01 2 steps Included with Survey
The first two things, on your own and in the order that makes sense. Inviting your partner comes after.
At the end: a finished Sounding, and your own survey to read.
Preview the steps You have heard about this and you are the one looking. Your partner has not agreed to anything and does not need to yet.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
Forty-eight statements. Twelve minutes. Six dimensions.
The questionnaire the rest of the product reads from. Nothing else has anything to work with until it is done.
One of twenty archetypes, with the parts nobody enjoys.
Your own survey, written from your own answers. Your partner never sees the answers behind it.
Getting started: the steps → 02 5 steps Included with Foundations
The agreement in five sittings rather than one long one, for two people who have decided to write one.
At the end: a signed agreement, and a record of what each of you agreed to and when.
Preview the steps You have both decided to write an agreement and you are looking at a blank page.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
Pairing dynamics, gaps, shared load and a friction band.
Both Soundings side by side. Easier to write an agreement when you have both read the same thing first.
Browse every clause. Applying them needs a plan.
Read the clauses before you choose any. They are readable at every plan, deliberately.
Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.
Where the agreement is actually drafted, section by section.
Scores your vows for whether they can actually be kept.
The promises, in your own words, kept apart from the terms.
A ceremony, or a countersignature. Your choice.
You both sign, and the agreement is frozen as it stood that day.
Getting it signed: the steps → 03 6 steps Included with Foundations
The conversations worth having before a tenancy starts, and something written down at the end of them.
At the end: a signed agreement covering the household, what each of you carries, and what each of you expects at home.
Preview the steps You are about to sign a tenancy together, or move into one of your places, and neither of you has said out loud how the house will actually run.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
What you saw growing up, and what you do now.
Where each of you comes from, and what each of you took as normal in a house.
The argument that is never about money.
Who carries what — the money, the work, and the things nobody counts.
Pairing dynamics, gaps, shared load and a friction band.
Both Soundings side by side, before either of you writes anything down.
Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.
The agreement itself, section by section.
Scores your vows for whether they can actually be kept.
The promises, in your own words.
A ceremony, or a countersignature. Your choice.
You both sign, and it is frozen as it stood that day.
Moving in together: the steps → 04 4 steps Included with Foundations
For the days after something was broken, when the order you do things in matters more than usual.
At the end: a recorded breach, a repair you both agreed to, and an agreement that says what happens next time.
Preview the steps Something has been broken, and you are both still in the days straight after it.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
Three tiers, agreed while calm.
Name what happened, against what you actually agreed, while you both still remember it the same way.
Decided while calm, so it's available when you aren't.
The repair you decided on while calm, which is the whole reason it was decided then.
Seven steps, and neither sees the other's first answer.
Seven steps, and neither of you sees the other’s first answer.
Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.
Change the agreement so this is covered, rather than assuming it will not happen again.
After a rupture: the steps → 05 5 steps Included with Foundations
For changing something fundamental in an agreement you have already signed, without either of you having to argue for it from nothing.
At the end: an amended agreement, and a record of who asked for the change and what was agreed.
Preview the steps One of you wants to change something you both signed, and raising it feels like reopening an argument you have already had.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
Committed separately. Revealed together.
Both of you state your absolutes again, privately. Neither list is shown until both are in.
Seven steps, and neither sees the other's first answer.
The structured version of the conversation, for the parts you do not agree on.
Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.
Write the change into the agreement itself, rather than agreeing it and leaving it unwritten.
Word-level diffs of every change you ever made.
What changed, word by word, so neither of you has to remember it.
A ceremony, or a countersignature. Your choice.
Sign the amended version. The one you signed before stays readable.
Renegotiating the terms: the steps → 06 2 steps Included with Survey
For two people who have decided to separate, and would rather agree it than be told it.
At the end: a written record of what you agreed, made while you could still make it together.
Preview the steps You have both decided to separate, and you would rather agree what happens than be told it.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
Closed by default. The dignified exit.
Nine sections on what gets divided, and a conduct protocol for the part that does the lasting damage.
One outside hour, properly prepared for.
A two-page pack a practitioner can read cold, if you decide to involve one. Wills, property and powers of attorney are theirs to advise on, not ours.
Parting well: the steps → 07 6 steps Included with Structure
The agreement six months on: what has moved, what is out of date, and what the two of you would write differently.
At the end: an amended agreement, signed again, and a record of what changed between the two.
Preview the steps You signed something six months ago and neither of you has looked at it since.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
Retake it in six months and see what moved.
Retake the Sounding. One measurement is a snapshot; two are a direction.
Ten seconds, once a day, three numbers each.
A fortnight of daily readings, so the review has something other than memory to work from.
Word-level diffs of every change you ever made.
Everything you have changed since you signed, in the order you changed it.
The agenda writes itself from everything else.
The conversation itself, with the agenda already written from everything above.
Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.
Change what needs changing. Leaving a section exactly as it was is also a decision.
A ceremony, or a countersignature. Your choice.
Sign the amended version. The one you signed before stays readable.
The review: the steps → 08 3 steps Included with Foundations
For two people about to hold money in common, before the first joint account rather than after the first argument about it.
At the end: a written money section, and each of you knowing what the other had assumed.
Preview the steps You are about to open a joint account, or you already share more money than the two of you have ever actually discussed.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
The argument that is never about money.
What money means to each of you, answered separately. This is the part that is never about the amount.
Pairing dynamics, gaps, shared load and a friction band.
Both readings side by side, including where the two of you are furthest apart.
Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.
The money section, written down: what is shared, what is not, and who pays what.
Merging finances: the steps → 09 4 steps Included with Structure
For when nothing is wrong and something is missing, and neither of you can say what changed.
At the end: a measurement of what actually moved, and one thing taken off someday and given a date.
Preview the steps Nothing is wrong. Something is missing, and neither of you can say what changed or when it did.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
Retake it in six months and see what moved.
Retake the Sounding. Two measurements tell you whether the drift is real or remembered.
Ten seconds, once a day, three numbers each.
A fortnight of daily readings. A single day tells you nothing; a fortnight tells you whether you have been having the same week.
Separating someday from planned.
A wish with a date and a cost is a plan. Move one of them across.
The agenda writes itself from everything else.
The conversation, with the agenda written from everything above.
Reconnecting: the steps → 10 5 steps Included with Structure
For a purchase in two names, or in one name with two people paying, before contracts rather than after completion.
At the end: a brief a solicitor can act on for a declaration of trust, and a list of where the documents are.
Preview the steps You are buying somewhere together, or one of you is buying and both of you are paying for it.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
The argument that is never about money.
What each of you is putting in, and what each of you assumes that buys.
Committed separately. Revealed together.
The positions neither of you will move on, committed separately before either has heard the other.
Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.
The money and home sections, written before a solicitor sees anything.
What each document does, and what it cannot.
What a declaration of trust does, what it cannot do, and a brief to hand a solicitor.
The index your family cannot find.
Where the deeds, the policies and the mortgage paperwork actually live.
Buying a place together: the steps → 11 5 steps Included with Structure
For the year before, while both of you can still think about it in the abstract.
At the end: stated positions on children, work and money, and a written division of what each of you will carry.
Preview the steps You are thinking about a first child, or you have decided and it has not happened yet.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
Eight things that reorganise a life.
Children, work, money and where you live — a stated position each, and “I don’t know yet” is a real answer.
What you saw growing up, and what you do now.
What each of you saw growing up, which is what each of you will reach for without noticing.
The argument that is never about money.
The money, and the work nobody counts.
A record, not a scoreboard.
A record of what actually gets carried, started before it becomes contested.
Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.
The family and future sections, written while they are still hypothetical.
Before a first child: the steps → 12 6 steps Included with Structure
The conversation that belongs before a nuptial agreement, and the brief that belongs after it.
At the end: stated positions on the irreversible things, your own signed terms, and a brief a solicitor can act on.
Preview the steps You are getting married, and one of you has mentioned a nuptial agreement.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
Committed separately. Revealed together.
Both of you state your absolutes, privately, before either has heard the other’s.
Eight things that reorganise a life.
The eight things that reorganise a life, with a position each.
Pairing dynamics, gaps, shared load and a friction band.
Both readings side by side, including where the two of you are furthest apart.
Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.
Your own terms, in your own words. This is not the legal document and does not pretend to be.
What each document does, and what it cannot.
What a nuptial agreement does as the law stands, what is proposed, and a brief to hand a solicitor.
A ceremony, or a countersignature. Your choice.
Sign your own agreement. The legal instrument is a separate act, with a solicitor.
Before marrying: the steps → 13 4 steps Included with Structure
For two households becoming one, where the children were here before the relationship was.
At the end: stated positions on the children and the money, and a brief covering wills and guardianship.
Preview the steps Two households are becoming one, and the children were here before the relationship was.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
What you saw growing up, and what you do now.
What each household took as normal, which is now two sets of normal in one house.
Eight things that reorganise a life.
Children, ageing parents and what happens to what, with a position each.
What each document does, and what it cannot.
Wills, guardianship, and what happens if one of you dies first. A brief to hand a solicitor.
Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.
The family section, written for the household you are actually building.
Blending families: the steps → 14 5 steps Included with Structure
For when one of you becomes a carer and the other becomes everything else.
At the end: a written division of the load, and a record of what each of you actually carried.
Preview the steps One of you has become a carer for a parent, and the other has quietly picked up everything else.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
Eight things that reorganise a life.
Ageing parents, stated as a position rather than assumed by whoever is nearest.
A record, not a scoreboard.
What is actually being carried, by whom, over ninety days.
The argument that is never about money.
What it costs, and the work that is not money.
Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.
The time and money sections, rewritten for the year you are actually in.
One outside hour, properly prepared for.
One outside hour, properly prepared for, if it needs more than the two of you.
Caring for a parent: the steps → 15 4 steps Included with Structure
The paperwork nobody does until it is urgent, done while it is not.
At the end: a brief a solicitor can act on for powers of attorney and wills, and a list your family can find.
Preview the steps Neither of you has a will or a power of attorney, and you both know it.
A suggested order, not a requirement. Open any module when it makes sense for you.
Eight things that reorganise a life.
Illness, incapacity and the end of life, stated while both of you can still state them.
What each document does, and what it cannot.
What a lasting power of attorney does, what a will does, and a brief to hand a solicitor.
The index your family cannot find.
A register of what exists, where it is and who holds it. Deliberately a list, not a document store.
Letters to whoever you both are by then.
Letters to whoever you both are by then, encrypted with a passphrase we never receive.
Planning for incapacity: the steps → A route, not a gate A route is a named list of modules with something written down at the end of it. Nothing in a route locks anything , and you can take the steps out of order.
Why a route rather than a list Thirty-two modules is a lot to look at when you do not yet know which of them you need. A route is somebody having already answered that: these ones, in this order, because the earlier ones give the later ones something to work from. The Structural Report is easier to write an agreement from than a blank page, and it needs two finished Soundings before it exists at all.
What it does not do It does not lock anything, and it is not a course. Nothing is withheld until you finish a step, there is no schedule, and stopping halfway costs you nothing — what you wrote stays written and the modules stay open. Where a module genuinely needs both of you, that module is what waits, exactly as it would if you had opened it on your own.
What it never shows either of you A route shows where each of you has got to and nothing else. It does not record how long anything took, or how long the other one has left something undone. Elapsed time is not a number this product prints about a person.