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Route / 3 steps

Merging finances

For two people about to hold money in common, before the first joint account rather than after the first argument about it.

Who this is for

You are about to open a joint account, or you already share more money than the two of you have ever actually discussed.

What it is

Three steps. What money means to each of you, answered separately; both readings side by side, including where you are furthest apart; then the money section written down.

The steps, in order

You can take them out of order. Nothing here locks a module, and no step waits on the one before it.

  • The Load

    The argument that is never about money.

    What money means to each of you, answered separately. This is the part that is never about the amount.

  • The Structural Report

    Pairing dynamics, gaps, shared load and a friction band.

    Both readings side by side, including where the two of you are furthest apart.

  • Your Terms

    Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.

    The money section, written down: what is shared, what is not, and who pays what.

A route, not a gate

A route is a named list of modules with something written down at the end of it. Nothing in a route locks anything, and you can take the steps out of order.

Why a route rather than a list

Thirty-two modules is a lot to look at when you do not yet know which of them you need. A route is somebody having already answered that: these ones, in this order, because the earlier ones give the later ones something to work from. The Structural Report is easier to write an agreement from than a blank page, and it needs two finished Soundings before it exists at all.

What it does not do

It does not lock anything, and it is not a course. Nothing is withheld until you finish a step, there is no schedule, and stopping halfway costs you nothing — what you wrote stays written and the modules stay open. Where a module genuinely needs both of you, that module is what waits, exactly as it would if you had opened it on your own.

What it never shows either of you

A route shows where each of you has got to and nothing else. It does not record how long anything took, or how long the other one has left something undone. Elapsed time is not a number this product prints about a person.