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The agreement
What you’d actually write.
Ten sections, in your own words, and the specifics a section can’t hold.
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Nothing here has legal force, and it says so on every page and in every export. What it has is the two of you having decided, and a record of what you decided.
Terms of Us · relationship agreementOur terms
Version
3
Signed
15 Mar
Next review
12 Oct
1Why We're Doing ThisSigned
2CommunicationSigned
3TimeSigned
4MoneySigned
5Exclusivity & BoundariesIn progress
6Conflict & RepairIn progress
7IndependenceNot started
8The Hard ThingsNot started
9If It EndsNot started
10ReviewNot started
Section 2 · Communication
2.1We check in on Sunday evenings for twenty minutes, phones in the other room.
2.2Neither of us raises anything serious after 10pm. A text is enough to say “not now — tomorrow”.
2.3Off limits in an argument: the past, name-calling, and leaving without saying when we’ll be back.
You14 Mar
Them15 Mar
The shape of the finished thing. Not a real couple’s terms.
The ten sections
The words are yours; the structure is the same for everyone. Each section asks its questions of you separately before you write anything together.
1
Why We're Doing This
2
Communication
3
Time
4
Money
5
Exclusivity & Boundaries
6
Conflict & Repair
7
Independence
8
The Hard Things
9
If It Ends
10
Review
A clause, before and after
A is one sentence you can hold each other to. When one of you changes it, the is recorded word by word and countersigned by the other — struck through is what went, underlined is what came in.
Phone in the drawer from eight to nine, weeknights.
Before
Phone in the drawer from seven to nine, weeknights, except when one of us is away.
After
Section 3, line 2 · changed by them, 14 March · countersigned by you, 15 March
Phone in the drawer from eight seven to nine, weeknights. weeknights, except when one of us is away.
A sample clause, not a real couple’s.
The clauses
fifteen platform clauses can be suggested from your actual answers rather than from a template. The registry holds sixty-five records: fifty from the book and fifteen from the platform. sixty-four are browseable in the app. One book clause is held for specialist review and is not shown there.
A holds the specifics a section can’t: the household, money, conflict, time, phones, animals, and the rest. Each one names the section it extends and the clauses it draws on.
1
The household
stands alone · six clauses
Who holds which part of running the home, and how that is reviewed.
2
Money
extends Money · nine clauses
How the costs are shared, what the joint account is for, and what happens to debt.
3
Conflict
extends Conflict & Repair · five clauses
How a hard conversation starts, pauses and is taken up again.
4
Time
extends Time · two clauses
The time that is shared and the time that is each of ours.
5
Phones and whereabouts
stands alone · two clauses
Phones in the room, and knowing when to expect each other.
8
Animals
stands alone · one clauses
Who the animals go with, and the things that go with them.
9
Health and incapacity
stands alone · two clauses
Wills and lasting powers of attorney — what each of us has, and whether they agree.
10
Children
extends The Hard Things · one clauses
What we intend about children.
11
Moving for work
stands alone · one clauses
A job that needs a move, and what the one who follows gives up.
12
Caring
stands alone · two clauses
Caring for a parent, and stepping back from work to care.
14
If we separate
extends If It Ends · five clauses
Notice, the home, the costs meanwhile, and what is sold or bought out.
Schedules 6, 7, 13, 15 and 16 are reserved and not yet written. The numbers are kept so that a schedule printed on a signed copy always means the same thing.
Vows
A is a sentence you finish from a stem the Survey chose for you — one of six sets, three for yourself and two or three for your partner. It is read aloud at the signing. One stem, as the product puts it:
When I notice myself building a story about what your silence means, I will…
Something you actually do — ask directly, wait a stated length of time, take it to a friend first.
The hint under each stem asks for something you actually do, not a category.
Four ways to sign
From a quiet forty minutes at a table to a ceremony with witnesses. You choose the format; the record is the same.
Quiet, just the two of you
Read the whole thing aloud to each other, then sign. Takes about forty minutes and needs nothing but a table.
With witnesses present
One or two people you both trust. They hear the vows, they sign the record, and they hold you to it later.
A proper ceremony
Vows read aloud, an officiant or friend leading it, guests. Closest to a wedding without being one — or alongside one.
Folded into a review
Signed at the end of a scheduled review rather than as an event. Best for a renewal rather than a first signing.
Start with the Survey.
The sections, the clauses and the vows all come after it, and they are written from what it found. One of you can start alone. Everything after the Survey needs you both.