Private pilot — not the live service
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Route / 5 steps

Caring for a parent

For when one of you becomes a carer and the other becomes everything else.

Who this is for

One of you has become a carer for a parent, and the other has quietly picked up everything else.

What it is

What each of you is carrying, both readings side by side, and a written division of the load — with a record of what each of you actually did.

The steps, in order

You can take them out of order. Nothing here locks a module, and no step waits on the one before it.

  • Horizon

    Eight things that reorganise a life.

    Ageing parents, stated as a position rather than assumed by whoever is nearest.

  • The Ledger

    A record, not a scoreboard.

    What is actually being carried, by whom, over ninety days.

  • The Load

    The argument that is never about money.

    What it costs, and the work that is not money.

  • Your Terms

    Ten sections. Plain language. Both signatures.

    The time and money sections, rewritten for the year you are actually in.

  • Second Opinion

    One outside hour, properly prepared for.

    One outside hour, properly prepared for, if it needs more than the two of you.

A route, not a gate

A route is a named list of modules with something written down at the end of it. Nothing in a route locks anything, and you can take the steps out of order.

Why a route rather than a list

Thirty-two modules is a lot to look at when you do not yet know which of them you need. A route is somebody having already answered that: these ones, in this order, because the earlier ones give the later ones something to work from. The Structural Report is easier to write an agreement from than a blank page, and it needs two finished Soundings before it exists at all.

What it does not do

It does not lock anything, and it is not a course. Nothing is withheld until you finish a step, there is no schedule, and stopping halfway costs you nothing — what you wrote stays written and the modules stay open. Where a module genuinely needs both of you, that module is what waits, exactly as it would if you had opened it on your own.

What it never shows either of you

A route shows where each of you has got to and nothing else. It does not record how long anything took, or how long the other one has left something undone. Elapsed time is not a number this product prints about a person.