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Route / 4 steps

Reconnecting

For when nothing is wrong and something is missing, and neither of you can say what changed.

Who this is for

Nothing is wrong. Something is missing, and neither of you can say what changed or when it did.

What it is

Four steps. Retake the Sounding, keep a fortnight of daily readings, move one thing off the someday list and give it a date, then have the conversation with the agenda already written.

The steps, in order

You can take them out of order. Nothing here locks a module, and no step waits on the one before it.

  • Movement

    Retake it in six months and see what moved.

    Retake the Sounding. Two measurements tell you whether the drift is real or remembered.

  • Weather Report

    Ten seconds, once a day, three numbers each.

    A fortnight of daily readings. A single day tells you nothing; a fortnight tells you whether you have been having the same week.

  • Bucket List

    Separating someday from planned.

    A wish with a date and a cost is a plan. Move one of them across.

  • The Walkthrough

    The agenda writes itself from everything else.

    The conversation, with the agenda written from everything above.

A route, not a gate

A route is a named list of modules with something written down at the end of it. Nothing in a route locks anything, and you can take the steps out of order.

Why a route rather than a list

Thirty-two modules is a lot to look at when you do not yet know which of them you need. A route is somebody having already answered that: these ones, in this order, because the earlier ones give the later ones something to work from. The Structural Report is easier to write an agreement from than a blank page, and it needs two finished Soundings before it exists at all.

What it does not do

It does not lock anything, and it is not a course. Nothing is withheld until you finish a step, there is no schedule, and stopping halfway costs you nothing — what you wrote stays written and the modules stay open. Where a module genuinely needs both of you, that module is what waits, exactly as it would if you had opened it on your own.

What it never shows either of you

A route shows where each of you has got to and nothing else. It does not record how long anything took, or how long the other one has left something undone. Elapsed time is not a number this product prints about a person.